Not sure what you are feeling and don’t want to be pregnant? Will Abortion be the answer? Will parenting be a good option? Giving a child life and putting the child up for adoption is a good opportunity for some women, and it will be emotional.

Anger

Women with unplanned pregnancies can feel a lot of anger with their situation. This is similar to the stages of grief.

Are you angry with yourself for getting into this situation?  We all have made mistakes in our lives, and it is pretty easy to beat ourselves up. Often, this anger is also defense mechanism used to mask other challenging emotional effects of “giving a child up” for adoption.

The way to deal with this anger is to realize you can only control today, and the mistakes of yesterday are out of your control. It is also helpful to focus on the future and the positive steps you can take. It’s also important to let go of this anger as much as you can and focus on the positive choices you are making for yourself and your baby.

Guilt

While adoption is one of the bravest, most selfless and most loving sacrifices a woman can make, it’s not uncommon that mothers feel guilty “giving a baby up” for adoption. Unfortunately, there is still some negative connotation for women who choose adoption. Especially when they think of adoption in terms of “giving up” or “giving away” their baby. Shame can also shows up with guilt. The thought of everyone judging you for being pregnant can make you feel shameful and judged.

It is important to know that adoption is not “giving away” it is “giving life” to this child. Once you start using more positive phrasing when talking about the adoption some of the guilt will disappear. Guilt is an emotion that will only lessen when you find a family. It will lessen when you discover the decision you are making is one for which you should admire yourself. You should admire yourself for the incredible sacrifice you are making for your child. A sacrifice that is the greatest act of love you could ever give to another person

Sadness

Sadness and grief is one of the most common feelings that mothers feel while they are going through the adoption process. It is a true since of loss that one feels when they are making plans to “give” their baby away.

Like with guilt it is best to start with more positive adoption language. It is life and love you are giving to your child. As stated many times before it helps to get to know the adoptive family that you have selected for your child. The sadness may be around for a long time but it can lessen and it is best to find an agency that provides extra support after the adoption.

Peace

Not every emotion is going to be negative! Many birth mothers find adoption to be a very rewarding experience. That final reward may involve jumping over a lot of emotional hurdles to get there, but it is helpful to keep your reasons for doing this at the forefront of your mind. Most mothers realize that their situation or environment is not good to raise a child. It brings many mothers peace and fulfillment when they can give their baby to a family that can truly love them the way that the deserve.

Hopefully this blog was able to provide some insight on the emotions of adoption for an unplanned pregnancy. We understand that each women and her circumstances are different, and the emotions that she feels varies, but we hope that this blog can provide helpful tips to navigate the emotions you are feeling. Emotions are not bad as long as you do not allow them to over whelm and hold you down.

CFS Caseworkers are ready to answer your call or text to discuss judgment free options with you, and hear your concerns, fears, guilt, and anger about your situation. Consider your options for your unplanned pregnancy. Call or text 24/7 to speak to a caseworker.

Call: 800-226-2367

Text: 352-600-2138